Meet Robert Davis
Author, Speaker, Public Figure, CEO, Artist, Motivational Speaker & Author of the book “ Letters To The Motherland”
My name is Robert Davis, & I grew up in one of the roughest..poverty stricken...Gang riddled...drug infested neighborhoods in the city of Jackson.
My Mother was a Woman of God & she raised me in the church. She invested a lot into me mentally & spiritually. The phrase "Concerned parent" still doesn't describe her to this day.
In reflection I believe I was a pretty good kid at first. I was always smart, talented, strong & likable but I couldn't access any of the good attributes because of my undesirable living situation.
While my Mother worked 2 jobs trying to provide the best life she could for us, she had no clue me & my 2 sisters were suffering abuse at home at the hands of her first husband.
She never knew what was happening to us behind closed doors because we never told her. The three of us tried to endure this horrible endeavor alone. Especially me. It's sad to say that this was not the only place I was exposed to persecution either. I experienced bullying in school, in church & even at the hands of other relatives.
I was an outkast! I couldn't understand why I was getting a taste of social torment everywhere else in the world I tried to fit in. I say this because i tried to join the gang at the age of 9 & was rejected. They didn't want me either! No one wanted me. Most times all I could think about was my Dad but he was on another path. I didn't understand why he didn't come get me. Why had he left me to the wolves? I didn't understand this till later on. Meanwhile, I felt like that silver round shiny sphere in the pin ball machine bouncing off one object into another. She eventually got us out of that horrible predicament but it left me scarred. The pummeling continued every day i went to class. For a long time I just let it happen. I wasn't weak & I got tired of boys beating me up. She didn't know about that either. I never told her. She'd whoop me for fighting at school not realizing I was fighting for my life!!
Now that i look back at it, my Mother was only just trying to keep the streets from getting a hold of me. I don't know how different I was from the average child but I saw her as one of my attackers at the time. It seemed everywhere i went i was being brutalized. I tried to be normal but after finding out that I couldn't conform, I ran away from home at the age of 12 & never lived with my Mother again.I felt alone in the world, was then exposed to new levels of humiliation, plus I carried the burden of not being old enough to realize the difference between what was happening to my sisters in comparison to what was happening to me. Even though we were all strong I didn't know it until I was gone that I had left my sisters to fend for themselves. I went away from everything she taught me. I wasn't praying anymore. The only option was to internalize this pain. Sometimes I "imploded" & did things to harm myself like cutting my arms, smashing windows with my hands, destroying other property.
I even put myself in harms way so that dreadful things I felt I deserved would happen to me. Other times I "exploded" & began vengefully lashing out towards those who meant to intimidate me. In this process I began showing aggression towards any & everyone I crossed paths with. Even those I considered innocent. It didn't take me long to realize I had other talents. One was "leadership" & the second was"Violence!" I had turned into something else. I was now not only "the WOLF" but I was the head of the pack!!! All of the roughest guys flocked to my mean streak like flies to honey. All I had to do was point & they'd smash whatever was in that direction! The genuine thing was that I'd never send them to do ANYTHING! I'd go do it myself!! I was the most viscous out of the entire group I hung with. It was crazy because I was still a child!!! Having perfected this abilty to tap into my rage & new found growth spurt, I forced myself into the Gang that at one point to me was un-joinable. After all, I was now exactly what they looked for. A soldier with soldiers! A loyalist that demonstrated & demanded loyalty from those around me. The nation (Gang) tripled in sized when I joined. Because of my short fuse, magnetism & destructive tendencies I flourished in that atomosphere.
There were still a few issues I had to figure out though. RESPECT without MONEY was only FEAR & I saw from others that didn't last long. I knew early in life I didn't want to be poor & I reached for the most available vices the street could offer me in order to feed myself. We all know what the most tangible thing was.... DRUGS! To my surprise my reputation afforded me loyal customers & Id stumbled across something else that seemed to come natural to me. Business!! Yes I was incarcerated plenty of times during my adolescence. I went from group homes, to foster care, to training schools, mental institutions & etc but my young age shielded me from going to the penitentiary. I actually think those facilities my Mother put me in back then made me tired of being behind bars! It didn't stop me from committing crime but it stopped me from going to jail! Yep.... i got good at doing what I did. I grew up & matured.
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They all smiled in my face as long as I provided the means for us to get high. I got patted on the back as long as I bought food for everyone when we all got the munchies. They cheered me on as long as the police weren't called on me for being as blatantly abrasive & threatening as I was. I had money, drugs, guns, nationwide respect & everything a child born with NOTHING could ask for. It was all the grace of God though. Because of him I was continuing in a maze that was designed to kill anyone who attempted to navigate through it. People had told me I wouldn't make the age of 18 but I'd proved them wrong for years!!
I had a hedge of protection around me the entire time. I felt invincible. Now I realize I had nothing to do with it. In my mind I was standing strong & firm while others around me lost their lives as quick as claps at a concert!! I loved the Gang & I loved the streets but the Lord had a different purpose for my life than for me to die there.
After being addicted to drugs, losing the cars, clothes, houses, & favor of the Gang... turning back toward God was the only solution. He changed me completely & when I did ...the drugs, the Gang & that life wanted me back again but instead I went toward God! Now I use my leadership skills to draw Men & boys away from the Gang & toward the church.
I am now a Minister, CEO, Author, Artist, Poet, Motivational speaker, Father & Founder of the International Grassroots Non profit organization called "the BETTER MEN SOCIETY". If God can change me, he can change ANYONE! Thank the Lord that Angelic hands are still writing my story!!!
The reason I wrote this book is because I'm proud to be of African decent. I carry the burden for our beloved Mother Continent . I love Africa & EVERYTHING she has given the world. I love my people! When they hurt, I hurt. We depend on the media (we don't control) to tell us how we feel about one another. We depend on the media to tell us about what's going on with one another. There are certain things I've always wanted to say to my people & these things are just the start.
With that being said.....I know now that I had the favor of Heaven over my life. Years & years went by with me being one of the most cautious drug dealers & highly respected Gang members people knew of. I continued rising in the ranks until there was not much further for me to go! It was my turn! I was the Leader! Everything's was at my disposal too. Including more drugs! I'd been the best of the best my entire career but as family members, close friends & fellow gang members died rapidly around me.... it finally started chipping away at my mind. It began effecting me. I didn't see it coming but after growing up as a prodigy in the nation (Gang), after doing the impossible as far as not getting locked up, after making wise business decisions with the money I made, I (like every one else in the life) begin getting high & slipping off my "A" game.
I thought it was me but the Lord had always allowed me to maintain gateway drugs but at this point he moved his hand & I began using harder substances that caused me to make horrendous mistakes.
No, things didn't collapse immediately. Detriment isn't always obvious. Nor does it come with a warning. I continued selling/being a willing participant in the life of the drug use & I thought I was still doing good but was unknowingly headed toward a horrific crash. Being upheld & encouraged by those around me couldn't stop it either. As a matter of fact that was a big part of the problem. The Almighty had shielded me when I'd put my life on the line for some of these same individuals. It didn't matter to them though.